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Jun 19, 2024

9 Signs You Will Never Find Love and What to Do About It

Ever worry you’ll never find love? You’re not alone. One of the top reasons people get a psychic reading on Purple Garden is to ask about their soulmate. Is he out there? When will I meet her? How do I know who they are? What if I never find love and I’m single forever?

If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath and give yourself a break. No matter how much you want it, you can’t force love.  What you can do is learn what’s in your way and how to get past it. When it comes to love and relationships, the biggest blockers are usually the ones you create for yourself. Ready to face your bad habits and toxic patterns? Don’t worry, we’ve also got some ways to overcome those obstacles and open your heart.

Why is Finding Love Difficult for Some People?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Who you are and what you’ve been through play a major part. We’re all born with unique traits. Some people are naturally more open, more confident, and more comfortable with vulnerability. Then, some of us are shy or guarded. We have a tough time letting others in.

Maybe it’s just how you are or maybe it’s the world around you. Maybe you grew up with parents who never showed affection or went through a painful breakup that left you feeling unworthy of love.  Maybe you’ve watched too many rom-coms and your expectations are too high and you’re waiting to bump into an adorable stranger on the sidewalk.

Or you live in an area with very few single people. Or your busy career keeps you too occupied to date. Or you’re balancing kids or other responsibilities. There are countless reasons why love may seem out of reach. It’s time to examine yourself inside and out to understand your personal challenges.

What are the Signs You Might Never Find Love

Let’s dive into the signs that might be getting in the way of finding love and figure out how to deal with them:

1. You Like Your Comfort Too Much

It’s totally natural to seek comfort and familiarity in our lives, but getting too cozy in our comfort zones can actually hold us back from taking risks or trying new things. If you’re hesitant to branch out or challenge yourself, especially when it comes to love, you might be accidentally sabotaging your shot at finding a real connection.

2. You Have Past Traumas

Past traumas, like old relationships or childhood, can really mess with our love life. Those unresolved feelings can block intimacy and trust, making it tough to have a healthy and happy relationship. It’s super important to deal with and heal from those past hurts to open up the road to love and feel confident and secure in new relationships.

3 . You Idealize Your Perfect Partner

We all have an idea of our perfect match, but aiming for perfection can set the bar way too high. Constantly chasing the flawless partner or ditching people for tiny imperfections? That’s a surefire way to miss out on real love.

4. You’re Too Demanding

Setting standards and boundaries is key in relationships, but getting too demanding or critical can push potential partners away. It’s all about finding the right balance between sticking to your values and staying open-minded and flexible. This is super important for building healthy, lasting relationships.

5. You Don’t Like Dating

Honestly, dating can be super tiring and pretty frustrating at times. But if you start dodging dates or getting all negative about it, you’re kinda just slamming the door on any chances for love. Keeping a positive and open-minded vibe when it comes to dating can really up your game in finding someone who clicks with you.

6. You Got Used to Being Alone

Spending too much time flying solo can unintentionally boost your “I got this” vibe, making it tough to let someone else into your world. It’s cool to be okay with your own company, but finding that sweet spot where you’re also down for sharing life’s adventures with a special someone is key.

7. You Don’t Like to Share Things

Relationships are all about sharing and compromising. But if you’re not ready or can’t share your life with someone else, it might stop you from making real connections. Learning to let go of wanting to control everything and being open to vulnerability is key to building intimacy and connections.

8. You Have Intimacy Issues

Intimacy isn’t just about being physically close; it’s also about being emotionally open, vulnerable, and trusting. If you find intimacy tough, maybe because you’re scared of rejection or being left, it can make it hard to really connect with others deeply, and that can make it tricky to build lasting relationships. Getting a bit of help from a relationship advisor can be a game-changer, helping you tackle these issues and learn healthier ways to relate to people.

9. You Don’t Feel Comfortable Around People

Dealing with social anxiety or feeling awkward in social scenes can really throw a wrench in meeting new folks and building real connections. When you’re feeling tense or too self-aware around others, it can be tough to make genuine friends or even find love. But, taking baby steps to get yourself out there more and being kind to yourself along the way can really help ease that social anxiety and boost your confidence in hanging out with others.

How to Overcome Your Obstacles in Finding Love

Getting past the hurdles on your way to finding love means you gotta be self-aware, brave, and ready to step out of your comfort zone. Here are five tips to help you on your quest for love a bit more smoothly:

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself as you navigate the ups and downs of dating. Nobody’s perfect, and it’s totally okay to make mistakes. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you’d offer to a close friend.

Work on Healing Past Wounds

Take some time to deal with any past traumas or emotional baggage that might be holding you back in relationships. Get support from a love and relationship advisor to help you process and heal from old hurts. Remember that healing takes time, so be patient with yourself as you work towards feeling whole again.

Challenge Your Relationship Expectations

Think about your relationship expectations and whether they’re realistic. Let go of rigid ideals and appreciate the beauty of imperfection in yourself and others. Be open to the idea that love might look different than you expect, and be ready to embrace the unexpected.

Practice Vulnerability

See vulnerability as a strength in relationships. Open yourself up to the possibility of getting hurt in the pursuit of love, knowing it’s essential for forming genuine connections. Share your thoughts, feelings, and fears with your partner, and let yourself be seen and accepted for who you are.

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Push yourself to step out of your comfort zone and try new things, whether it’s joining a new social group, picking up a new hobby, or going on a date with someone who isn’t your usual type. Expanding your horizons can help you grow and increase your chances of meeting someone who aligns with your values and interests.

5 Tips For Becoming More Open to a Relationship

Starting the journey to find love means being open to vulnerability, keeping an open mind, and genuinely wanting to connect with others on a deeper level. Here are five practical tips to help you become more open to a relationship:

  • Practice Active Listening: Get good at active listening by fully engaging with others and showing real interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Ask open-ended questions, acknowledge their emotions, and show empathy and understanding in your interactions.
  • Be Authentic: Being real is key to forming genuine connections with others. Be true to yourself and let your personality shine in your interactions. Don’t pretend to be someone you're not or try to conform to societal expectations just to impress others.
  • Stay Open-Minded: Approach dating and relationships with an open mind and a willingness to explore new possibilities. Be open to meeting people from different backgrounds, cultures, and walks of life, and avoid making quick judgments based on superficial criteria.
  • Set Healthy Boundaries: Healthy boundaries are crucial for maintaining your emotional well-being and preserving your sense of self in relationships. Be clear about your needs, desires, and deal-breakers, and communicate them openly and assertively with potential partners.
  • Practice Self-Love: Make self-love and self-care a priority on your journey to finding love. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and respect, and focus on your emotional and physical well-being. Remember, you deserve love and a relationship that brings you joy and fulfillment.


Finding love is a journey that needs a lot of patience, perseverance, and the guts to face our fears and insecurities head-on. By spotting and dealing with what’s stopping you from finding love, you can start taking steps toward the loving and fulfilling relationship you deserve.

Remember, love isn’t always a walk in the park, but with an open heart and a readiness to grow, you can lay the groundwork for a future full of love, connection, and joy. Trust in yourself and the path ahead, and believe that the love you’re looking for is out there, just waiting for you to grab it with both hands.

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